Lost in Translation? – Working with autistic adults - A disaster analysis

It is a “well known fact” that autistics struggle with communication. Consider the following interchange/communication disaster that occurred in my life this week. I am a freelance technical documentation writer for a software development company. A big release was coming up and of course, their helpdesk site needed work. 

I received a text message from the man I report to. It said: “Management has agreed that we need to have the helpdesk documentation by Wednesday”. 

I thought “Ok, seems unrealistic but fine”. I didn’t say anything further, because, I was at the time, connected to a very slow drip and working on a hospital bed. Three hours later, after having passed out on the sidewalk from low blood sugar levels, recuperating back on the hospital bed and then being carted home by a friend – I opened my laptop again and began working. I passed out again after an hour. I woke up about three hours later with a massive tension headache. I ate dinner, still trying to recover from the day. Here is the interchange between my employer and myself as it devolved over the next few hours. 

Me: If there is anything, I can do to assist with getting helpdesk ready, please tell me, I would like to help.

Him: Well all I can think of is if you could <vague description of some requirement that wasn’t well thought through>, that would be great. 

{It seemed to me at this point that he was searching his head for something I could do. My assumption: He is scraping the barrel here, hence, this task was not really critical.}

Me: I don’t have knowledge of that area in order to do that though. 

Him: It’s fairly straight forward, I think you can manage it.

{Also, him: Disappears to take a call in his office and I hear nothing from him until he emerges at 21:00.}

Him: Are you working on <vague description of some requirement that wasn’t well thought through>?

Me: Um, no, I was…

Him: {flips out}

Me: Huh? 

Him: Do you just not care about the sheer amount of pressure that we are under? Could you NOT see that I needed you to start that <vague description of some requirement that wasn’t well thought through>? Don’t offer to do something and then NOT do it!  {Yada yada yada…}

Me: But when I asked if I could help, it seemed to me that you were scraping the bottom of the barrel to find something I could actually help with. Also, you left without addressing how I do the <vague description of some requirement that wasn’t well thought through>, especially since I told you I wouldn’t be able to do it. 

Him: If you actually WANTED to help me, you would have come to ask me how! Never mind, I will do it myself. You can work on <clearly defined XYZ> instead. 

Me: Ok, I will start now. In future, could you please give me more specific information and timeframes when you require assistance? Also, I didn’t want to barge in while you were in the zone to ask you a question about a task I didn’t see was all that important. 

Him: But can’t you SEE that EVERYTHING is important right now? 

Me: Um, I am just asking that you could perhaps phrase it more directly, like “Could you please work on this immediately” or something along those lines? 

Him: But I KNOW, if I speak to you that way, you will be offended. 

Me: I kind of need that level of directness. Is that too much to ask? 

Me: I understand your requirements now. I will work on them exclusively until completion. 

This is the a very watered-down rendition of a spirited conversation where it was clear that communication was severely compromised. 

Where it Went Wrong

Inferred Meaning and Vague Requirements

“Management has agreed that we need to have the helpdesk documentation by Wednesday” – There was meaning hidden here, that was not clear to an autistic brain wired on explicit instruction. This was a statement. The implications of the statement were unclear. 

Another example of inferred meaning: 

“Well, all I can think of is if you could <vague description of some requirement that wasn’t well thought through>, that would be great” – The phrase “All I can think of” can have so many possible meanings. I chose a meaning based on some pattern building mechanism my autistic brain had built up. “All I can think of” implied (to me) that it wasn’t such a high priority. 

In addition, the description of the work itself was vague, not well thought through, and unrealistic given the as-is situation.

Unclear Expectations

As I said earlier, the requirement was not clear in my employers mind, so conveying it to me in unclear terms and then somehow expecting me to know how to do it AND to start on it as a matter of high priority was unclear to me as well. Yet, the neurotypical expectation to “just know” were still there. Hence, the blow-up. 

Assumptions About What We Know

He assumed I would be able to complete the task, and was sure could figure it out without giving it further thought. It just doesn’t work like that with autistic people. 

We understand things really well. BUT not things you cannot explain to us in the first place. He later came around to say that he saw there was no way for me to do what he asked me to, as I didn’t have the user rights to do that among other factors. 

Non-Existent Timelines 

In the entire interaction, no fixed “deadline” was given. No priority was assigned to the subtask in CLEAR terms. This makes it impossible for us to organize our time. 

A Better Way to Communicate with Us

Some examples of phrasing that would have induced a better outcome: 

“Management has agreed that we need to have the helpdesk documentation by Wednesday. So, I am going to need your help intensely over the next few days. Please could we discuss what you will do and by when we can have it done?”

When I asked how I can assist, it would perhaps have gone better if it was phrased this way: “Let me think it over. Honestly, I am just hammering out work, so things are a bit vague in my head right now.”

“I would like you to please <specific description of task> and it would be best if it is completed by <time and date>. Can you assist within these terms?”

“I understand that you have not done this particular task before. Let’s take ten minutes for me to show you what is required.” 

Perhaps the impatience can be understandable if a manager or supervisor is used to subtext as the norm. But I invite you, as a neurotypical person working with an atypical, to consider – would not ALL interactions with employees of all neurotypes benefit from the following?

• Patience 

• Ability to express yourself and your expectations clearly

• Ability to admit your own possible lack of understanding 

• Clarity of expectations in terms of work to be done 

• Clarity of expectations in terms timelines 

• Good project management such that last minute panic is avoided

• Not “beating around the bush” in phrasing

• Not trying to “soften” the expectation/requirement 

• Trusting that speaking in a respectful but clear and direct way is just better, not offensive

To conclude: 

We expect clarity, are not offended by directness and do not subscribe to subtext. These can be seen as positives, not disabilities. Consider the beloved Mr. Data in Star Trek, TNG.