How parents can help an autistic child with challenging behaviour
By: Vanessa Blanchard
I know, it could be challenging to handle your autistic child sometime.
Autistic children’s behavior can be confusing when compared to some other children, but to the autistic community a lot of this behavior makes sense. We know how sensory sensitivities can overwhelm, or how transitioning between tasks can put us in full fight or flight mode.
We also know how pleasing it is to line things up neatly or how soothing it is to rock back and forth. If you ask us, we’d be happy to share experiences that could give you insight into your child.
Behavior is Communication
The idea that behavior is communication was one of the earliest and most helpful concepts the autistic community offered me when I was first learning about autism.
Kids might not always be able to tell you with words if they’re distressed, but their behavior will let you know. Look for the root cause of troubling patterns. Remember that not being able to communicate our distress can add a lot of emotions on top of what already has us struggling.
Likewise, sometimes our behaviors are communicating happiness, focus, or passion. These are often labeled problematic even when they aren’t. Maybe we’re flapping our hands in excitement, or maybe we learn better if our bodies are in motion.
What to Do
Reach out to other autistic people when you encounter troubling behaviors that communicate distress.
Develop a caregiving approach that meets your child on their level. Help them learn to identify and communicate their needs to the best of their ability.
Assume that they’re trying their hardest and be ready to respond to their crises.
What Not to Do
Don’t let people judge your parenting when your kid has a meltdown or shows signs of sensory overwhelm.
Don’t punish happy or self-regulating behaviors. Is it really that important for hands and bodies to be still? Is eye contact the only way to show respect?
About the writer
I’m a writer, artist, and advocate who loves living in Maine among the trees and oceanside villages. I’m also autistic, ADHD, and PTSD. My education, both academic and personal, has centered around mental health and neurodevelopmental disabilities, as well as discrimination and the socioeconomic consequences of living disabled in America. I work to plant seeds and spread ideas through my writing. You can find me on Twitter @ladysnessa.